Rain

Today, its raining & m alone sitting on my bedroom’s window…..staring at the road through my window……remembering how he used to come just to see me even if its raining heavily…….

Hey look a bike just stopped on the lane opposite to my house……A sweet couple…..they look great together….hiding beneath the tree from the rain…..we too used to take shelter on the sideways…but to a place where it will b just two of us….so that we can have our little romance….the hugs, cuddles…I can still feel it….like its happening now…your breath on my neck….your smell, touch, kisses, and your wet body….its always like a film scene….the dream that every women dream of….

And do you remember…that night when we were heading home after my classes…and its started raining…you kissed me in the middle of the road….when we heard someone’s car horn….how crazy was that na….what’s matter then was just me n you…..and that day when we were much away from our home….and we got stuck in rain…I always carry a umbrella in this season but in this heavy rain it wont gonna help…..you stopped the bike so that we will skip from getting wet….but tree are not that helpful on the outside of town….so we used umbrella and when your little drama came that you are not getting sufficient space….and you hugged me tight from the back….I can feel your heartbeat….fast….don’t know why but I always found it that fast…..and you answer its fast because m with him…. we are now facing each other….I can smell his fragrance mixed with cigarettes that he had before and the effect his cigarettes left on his lips and then the way your kisses taste…It drive me crazy….…he is so close to me….we have to control ourselves…cause this place really got some audience….still….his hands were on my waist and I can feel the warmth between us….

Rain stopped & we started our ride again…you said me to grab you hard…so that you will stay warm…but I know its just an excuse…everybody who passes by us keep staring at us….like they never saw any couple…the road isn’t that good …its water all over the road due to rain.. You don’t want your dress to get dirty…so you were driving safely….when suddenly a jeep came at speed…..and SPLASH!!!! We are soaked to water…and we laughed…

Remember you don’t want to get wet as you don’t want cold to catch you…and me who want to enjoy rain…every time…

But now rain is something I can only watch from my favorite place…after all its doesn’t have that magic now…it doesn’t have you now with me…

long poem

My head lays on my pillow;
the room is dark and damp.
(-- if I could only see your face,
though I know that I can't)

I try to close my eyes and sleep,
but your face haunts my dreams.
(I feel like I've been torn apart...
I'm broken at the seams.)

I toss and turn; I'm restless.
I know I will not sleep;
(I know that I still think of you.
Do you still think of me?)

My eyes now face the darkness;
the demon's haunting our lives.
(It seems we had it all and more;
Why did you leave me? Why?)

It seems the clock ticks slowly,
and yet our love went by so fast.
(Just where did I go wrong in this,
to make this love not last?)

I sit up smooth, but slowly;
I grip my sheets in my bare hands.
(Why did you have to leave me here?
I just don't understand...)

It seems the night is quiet
as I stand by my dark window.
(You left with not a word to say;
why did you have to go?)

The crickets dance like autumn.
The night is lit like June.
(I'm waiting for you to return;
are you returning soon?)

Laying on my bed once more,
I stare blankly ahead.
(Was this all you or was it me?
Is our love truly dead?)

I feel like such an empty pleasure,
like I could scream aloud this night.
(Was I just living in a dream?
Was nothing really right?)

I watch the seconds pass me by;
The silence fills my heart.
(You know that I am fragile;
do you know I'm torn apart?)

A tear slides down my ghostly face
and falls onto my sheets.
(Were you just playing with my head?
Did you truly love me?)

I close my eyes so gently
as if I am afraid I'll break.
(How did we lose the love we had?
Was all the love a fake?)

The questions lull me into sleep,
a sleep filled with your face.
(I thought that I had melt your heart
which no one could replace?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up to a quiet morning
the world is still the same
(you were the best that I had
and now I'm stuck with pain...)

my routine passes quickly by
not consciously awake
(it seems you are the only one
is all this a mistake?)

I feel like going back to bed
but your laugh lingers there
(you said that you would never leave
you said you'd always care)

my breakfast has no taste at all
the news is nothing new
(do you know that I'm hurting now
-- it's all because of you...)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

driving down a busy street
I skim the crowd for you
(you never even said goodbye
-- there's nothing I can do)

I take a turn off of my route
so that I'll pass your house
(it seems that you were just a cat
-- was I the stupid mouse?)

the numbers pass and yours is near
I speed up just a bit
(you must've known the plan so well
before you got into it...)

and impulse makes me turn abrupt
and I am at your home
(I never thought you'd leave me
-- why'd you leave me all alone?)

I noticed while I parked my car
that five cars sat as well
(did you even try to catch me
do you know I fell?)

with hesitation, I pull through
I walk right to your door
(could have told me what was wrong
do you love me no more?)

I ring the bell and wait for you
it seems I wait so long
(why did you never call me
what ON EARTH did I do wrong???)

the door opens so slowly
I hold my breath in deep
(did you ever even care?
was this make-believe?)

it isn't you who answers
but a woman with tears in her eyes
(were there things that I didn't know?
are there things you still hide?)

I ask to speak with you to her
but sadly she says no
(where'd you disappear to?
why'd you even have to go?)

I scrunch my face and ask her why
-- her answer breaks my heart
(did you ever care for me
you must've meant to break my heart...)

"I'm sorry, he has passed away,
He's been dead for a week..."
(was it true, was it all love?
was death why you left me?)

"...His wake and funeral have passed
his grave's a town away"
(will I never see your face?
not another word you'll say?)

"Did you know him well?" She asks
I nod as tears fall down my face
(you always loved me... you always will
no one will EVER take your place...)

"I was his boyfriend
I've been torn apart
I thought he had left me
-- thought he'd broken my heart..."

She replied, "I know I shouldn't tell you
but I feel that I must
and if I tell you this little secret
will you betray my trust?"

I answered, "Oh, no, I never would do that
trust me with all your heart
I am better now, now that I know
he didn't mean to tear me apart..."

"Dear, he died alone.
-- His death was by suicide
he told no one about his plans
but suddenly took his own life."

I break down crying
the woman kneels down
(why did you do this?
-- I'd have helped you out!?)

with tears flowing down
the woman asks me my name
(without you, my love,
life will not be the same.)

"Stephen, my name is Stephen
I suppose you are his mother?"
(my soul has been broken badly
you'll be replaced by no other.)

"No, I am his aunt,
his mother's dead too
and if you're really Stephen
then he wrote this letter for you..."

I look at the manila envelope
unopened and so smooth...
(Oh, what is inside this death note
-- what have I made you do?)

I opened the letter
so delicate; so scared
(Oh! What have you written?
Just what is in there?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Stephen,

By now you must have noticed my absence from your life and that I am no longer among the living. You must have noticed that and thought that I had abandoned you, more now than ever since you are aware that I am never coming back. There is no definite reason for my departure from this world. I hope that you will not have it stuck in your head that it is because of you that I have killed myself. I hope that you are aware that it is not. I would like to tell you something: I have been addicted to many forms of self-mutilation for some time. I have not participated in activities that lack clothes or any activity that reveals skin, in fear that you or someone else, mostly you, would see or notice my scars and think less of me. It seems as if I am not good enough for you or anyone. That I will have no future, that I will never be able to take my shirt off without being self-conscious or reminded of my horrid past, or even present. I just can't... couldn't take it anymore. You seem so perfect... perfect life, perfect friends... it hurts... me being so flawed. I wonder what you saw in me, and if you were just playing games with my head. It drove me crazy. I know you must think it odd, but... there is so much pain coursing through my soul as I write this, I believe I will be at rest in the next life, or wherever death takes me. You may or may not forgive me, and you probably don't understand my reasoning... and most likely never will.
I would like you to have a picture of me, and I hope that you won't rip it up, I hope that you will never let me go, and I hope you will not hate me. Please, do not cry for me so that I can die in peace knowing I did not break your heart or I did not make you choose the same fate as I, myself, did. I hope that everything is and will be okay, and I hope that you will remember all of the good times that the two of us shared, and don't think of my life just by my suicide.

P.S.- Please do not visit my grave. I do not want you to cry for me, and if you visit my grave, I am sure that you will cry.

I guess now It's time to
test my quote:
"All my love; 'til
death then in the ground."

Love,
*****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I broke into tears as I read the death letter
I knew that it made nothing deep inside better
he was gone, and I knew that he'd never return
no matter how hard I may wish or I'd yearn.

and inside the smooth envelope
he left a lonely picture
his smiling face and his vibrant, blue eyes
(The Boy Who Took his Perfect Life)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I never will forget you
I want to make sure THAT you know
all my love 'till in the ground
(I'll never let you go...)

courtesy: http://www.best-love-poems.com/poems.php?id=779528

sad poems

KEEP LOOKING

I keep looking in all the places,

Where you are supposed to be.

But I never seem to find you,

And you're all I long to see.

I just can't seem to understand,

What it was that changed your mind.

All this time I thought I knew you,

When really, I was blind.

But know that I do not hate you,

And I know I never will.

Because I cared about you then,

And I care about you still.

Even though you hurt me,

I can't seem to let you go.

But I will go on without you,

And I want to make sure you know.

It will take some time to mend,

The damage that you've done.

But broken hearts do heal,

That's where strength comes from.

For now, the tears may be falling,

And my thoughts keep circling to you.

But soon, things will get better,

If you have hope, then they always do.

-Kristy Glassen

Gone

You're out of my life

it hurt at first but now I'm alright

I decided to not listen to your lies anymore

it's over it's through I've closed my door

so many times I've been played as a fool

at first you were a good person but now you're just cruel

you said if I would wait one day we would be together

but I'm moving on with my life I can't wait on you forever

hopefully one day soon you'll find it isn't nice

to find the one you love being with someone else each night

i must admit the times we spent together were great

now you've grown into something, something I can only hate

the other girl doesn't realize you've been playing her too

but it's ok you belong together cuz she's just like you

I'm glad I finally gave up on something that was never there

you can't be with two people that's just not fair

you should have told me the truth from the very start

instead of playing your game and breaking my heart

I hope you regret what you have done to me

and try to get me back while begging on your knees

but this time I'll be smart and leave you behindbecause when you say you want me I know you're lying

you had so many chances but you took too long

I feel better now knowing you're finally gone

Missing You

No words I write can ever say,

How much I miss you every day.

As time goes by the loneliness grows,

How I miss you... nobody knows.

I think of you in silence,

I often speak your name.

But all I have are memories,

And a photo in a frame.

No one knows my sorrow,

No one sees me weep.

But the love I have for you,

Is in my heart and mine to keep.

I never stopped loving you,

I don't think I ever will.

Deep inside my heart,

You are with me still.

Heartaches in this world are many,

But mine is worse than any.

My heart still aches as I whisper low,

"I need you... and miss you so."

The things we feel so deeply,

Are often the hardest things to say.

But I just can't keep quiet anymore,

So I'll tell you anyway.

There is a place in my heart,

That no one else can fill.

I love you... and I always will. 

LATE NIGHT CALL

His name came up

On the caller ID

At exactly

Eleven fory-three.

I answer it

In my cheery fashion

For our late-night talks

Were always my passion.

But his voice told me

That something was wrong

Like a horror movie's

Foreshadowing song.

As he took a deep breath

And told me the phrase

"We need to talk"

I was put in a daze.

"We have a connection

And get along fine

There's nothing you've done

The problem is mine.

"You understand don't you?

Are you still there?"

I tried to answer

As I felt my heart tear.

"We're gonna stay friends,

We'll talk every day.

Nikki, do you have

Anything to say?"

A thousand thoughts were

Ready to spill

But my mouth wouldn't talk

As my eyes began to fill.

Thoughts raced through my head

Old memories played

The thought of being alone

Made me feel so afraid.

"I'm not expecting you

To understand.

You're a sophmore,

Life holds different demands.

"Still one day

When your life is SAT's

College applications

And activities,

"You'll realize why

I made this choice.

Talk to me, Nikki,

Do you have a voice?"

I would if I hadn't

Hung up so quick

To comfort myself,

I was feeling quite sick.

So then this is it,

This is the end.

What more can I say then?

I'll miss you my friend.

-Nicole Hamberger

love lost

I can sit here and cry for hours.. i knew from the first time i met you that you were diffrent, i gotto know you.. the day i fell in love with you was like no other, we were in your car driving along singing our hearts out to music like we do every other day but today you livened up my heart hit my stomache and wow girl i went in a tizz.. you see it may all seem lovely but the thing is.. she will never be intrested in me, shes got a boyfriend... when she talks about him i wanna cry i support her and be her friend in everyway i possibly can, i could cope with that until.. she came to me 'i cant love you' my heart hit my stomache tears swellend in my eyes, i spend nearly all day everyday with her.. i hold her hair and rub her back everytime shes sick, im the sholder she can cry on.. i love her, her laugh is amazing, her smile is beautiful, when she looks at me i feel loved.. but i know it will never happen and its killing me

Maine Kab Dard Ke Zakhmo Se Shikayat Ki Hai, Haan Mera Jurm Hai Ke Maine Mohabbat Ki Hai, Chalti Phirti Laasho Ko Gila Hai Mujhse, Shaher Me Rehkar Maine Jeene Ki Hasrat Ki Hai, Aaj Pehchana Nahi Jaata Chehra Uska, Ek Umar Mere Dilpe Jisne Hukumat Ki Hai, Aaj Phir Dekha Hai Use Mehfil Me Patthar Banke, Maine Aankhon Se Nahi Dilse Bagawat Ki Hai, Usko Bhool Jaane Ki Galti Bhi Nahi Kar Sakta, Toot Kar Ki Hai To Sirf Mohabbat Ki Hai...