About My Past

The more I wanna forget, the more it haunts me.
The more I wanna run, the more it chases me.
The more I wanna push it away, the more it wanna come back.
The more I wanna throw it in deep oceans,
the more it wanna swim on the edges.
The more I wanna hide, the more it demands to be shown.
The more I don't wanna talk about it,
the more it comes as a mandatory question.
The more I wanna state it wrong,
the more it comes as a medical report that needs to be diagnosed right.
The more I wanna lock it inside, the more it wanna escape.
The more I decline it, the more it demands to be accepted.
The more I  wanna overcome this grief,
the more it fights for its existence.
The more I wanna leave it broken, the more it demands to be fixed.
And that's when I don't know what to feel and do about my past!