Zindagi nahi rukti

zindagi nahi rukti sab kho jane sse
par bahut kuch sikha deti hai uske jaane se...
har kuch bahut jaruri hai mere siwa
har koi jee leta hai kis khas k bina...
bahut sambhal k iss bar humne wo moti piroye the
hume kya pata tha wo moti hi paraye the
k kaash hume pehle maloom hota
to aaj wo mala hamare naam hota
wo mehnat wo waqt na laut k aayega
par jis sabak se hume wakif hue
wo na fir kisi pe bahora krna sikhayege...
k kayi baar humne koshish ki k purani baat bhul jaye
wo sari chah bhuljaye wo sare armaan bhul jayee
k wo din aaj bhi yaad aata hai hume
jab hum sath kal piroya karte the
jab khud ko duniya me auro se behtar bataya krte the
par jab aaj khud ko aaiyne me dekhta hu to
unhi k jaise hai unhi k tarah bheed me akele hai...

Because you are Mine!

I'm Sorry my life that you have to suffer...
that you are just a game..
which everybody is playing to win
and then there is me who constantly loosing it...
that you are trapped inside a body
which is dumb enough to let everybody use it for their fun
and then its me who doesn't have a common sense to stop it...
that you are controlled by a mind
which is soaked in deep river of sorrow
and then there is me who can serve as an anchor but refused...
that you are supported by a heart
which is not giving up and keep holding you
and then it just me who keep crushing it again and again...
I'm sorry my life that you have to suffer because you are mine!

About My Past

The more I wanna forget, the more it haunts me.
The more I wanna run, the more it chases me.
The more I wanna push it away, the more it wanna come back.
The more I wanna throw it in deep oceans,
the more it wanna swim on the edges.
The more I wanna hide, the more it demands to be shown.
The more I don't wanna talk about it,
the more it comes as a mandatory question.
The more I wanna state it wrong,
the more it comes as a medical report that needs to be diagnosed right.
The more I wanna lock it inside, the more it wanna escape.
The more I decline it, the more it demands to be accepted.
The more I  wanna overcome this grief,
the more it fights for its existence.
The more I wanna leave it broken, the more it demands to be fixed.
And that's when I don't know what to feel and do about my past!

Again

Its happening again...
I have started to like someone again...
And that someone is becoming my habit again...
I can feel the life again...
I can feel the connection again...
I think I am in love again...
It was nice to feel alive again...
It was nice to dream again...
I wont be able to live without someone again...
And the person I made my special one, wanna leave me again....
All the shits are same again...
I am unbearable again....
I was left to be broken again...
I was expecting too much again...
I was dumb enough to believe again...
Its was just like my past again...
Which converting into my present again...

Will he cry??

She lean on her bff's shoulder.... and asked him...  will he cry after I die??
Her bff look at her with his amaze and confusing eyes...  thinking from where all this is coming...
She asked answer me na... will he???
He replied.... sure my little angle but he doesn't want you!!
She know he doesn't want her now!!
But...
Will you do me a favour...??
Hmm.. he nodded
She says "When I will be gone... just let him know that.. yes there was major mistakes made by me... but that all because he never valued me.. and that please don't repeat the same mistakes... specially not with the one.... true love of his life... not for a sec..!! And that I never stopped loving him!!"
Her bff is now terrified with each words coming from her mouth..
But then he knows why this all was coming from her even when he had seen her being strong for every single time....
It was coming from her disappointment for every single things that doesn't fall on places.
Her bff was confused and confident that his crazy friend is going to take a big disscion regarding her life and that to end her life...
But he was confident that she is mature enough and she will not do these stupid things and will make her life worth.. but he also knows that she loved that dog very much and he is never gonna worth her...!!
so again she asked her bff how her love gonna react when her brother will let him know about all the things she ever felt for him.. Even if he wont take it seriously she begged that just let him know once atleast!!!
and he made her felt safe about it that he will let him know regarding all she felt.... thinking do he'll cry when she die????

the wonder of you

hey guys...
actually i dont know what to write today..
but i feel like writing... so what i am going to write...lets see
today i am going to express why i feel positive after so many wrong turns of my life...
i feel positive because i know that this bad time will go eventually and the goods times were on the doorstep again...
i am hearing the taps and beats playing inside my head... and its so sweet that it makes me wanna move.. make me feel alive and happy to myself...
the happiness of life is not in girlfriend and boyfriend or a life partner... these all are just supports that you gonna need in your life so that you will have strength at your weakest moments...
the real happiness in keeping yourself happy by doing all the little, crazy stuffs that you wanna do...
and i promise to you ... you wont regret it...!!
coz that is what your heart really wants.. you really want....!!
its you and all you that make things right... no one is going to come and save you...
its you and the wonder of you upon yourself that is going to save you...
so why wasting your precious time over someone who doesnt worth your efforts...
try to impress yourself and try to keep your inner self happy.. you will find yourself smiling always...
i have tried to keep someone happy... i have tried so hard that i forget to love myself....
i forgot that to keep someone happy  you have to be happy at first place...
its not like i was not happy making his dreams come true.. but in the path of fullfilling his dreams... my pocket of dreams are becoming empty day by day...and finally i realise that his dreams pocket are never gonna be full but mine is gonna be empty soon...
so dont forget about your dreams and your happiness!!!
only a healthy tree can produce sweet fruits!!!

leave the heart broken for sometime

I know the heart ache, the breakups are hard to cope with...
but even you have decided it through the hard way that you wanna move on....
somewhere you wanna stuck there..
and you want him back...
but after all the times I tried to have him back in my life...
all I  got is disappointment...
more heart aches,...
harder heart breaks....
and found myself into pieces of previously broken once...
from feeling every little things to feel not a single thing..
you went back to feel each and every minute things...
and when all the things happens again you realize...
you are numb again...
you want to cut yourself again...
you want to feel your heart beating again...
coz all you can feel is that your heart skiping a beat every time you breathe and
its beating is only enough to keep you alive not for having a life...

so dont keep on checking the sites that teaches you how to have your ex back...
instead always keep in mind why it never worked out in the first place...
And it never gonna be start over...
it always gonna start from the place you had left... the fight and the issues where you left...
you are going to be left alone once again and this time you wont even know the reason...
and may be you have already dreamed of a better life ahead while you are going to be dump again ...
so why making a new scar over the wounded heart...
leave the heart wounded for sometime and let it heal on its own...
dont rush for making and trying to keep things on the right path always...
why not keep the things as it is and dont try to change it...
after all
whatever happens.... happens for a reason...
and there is a good life ahead...
why setting for something that neither you deserve nor you want it...
love yourself..
live will bring the best out of you and for you...!!!!